Carrie Buddington
"Carrie Buddington is a former member of The Community of Jesus, Inc., a Bible-based Christian community. She joined in 1970 when she was a newly converted Christian, and she raised her three children at the Community. She worked in many of their offices and became a Senior Sister in the Convent. One by one her children left, and finally in 2010 she was also able to leave. Having been denied requests to pursue education while at the Community, she has graduated from Boston College with a bachelor's degree in psychology, and from Simmon's School of Social Work with a master's degree. She is currently a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and works in addiction treatment. She is a member of the International Cultic Studies Association and looks forward to being able to assist others who have left cultic groups to start a new life. As part of processing what she has lived with for 40 years, she is writing a blog: mylifecoj@wordpress.com Her story appears in ICSA Today 6.3, and photographs and poetry in ICSA Today 7.3."
On This Page
False Allure
The poison ivy symbolizes for me how lush and promising the message of the group seemed to be. It appeared to be full of vibrant life, but this is true only if you do not know the real nature of the plant/life. Poison ivy causes extreme discomfort and aggravation, and the life in the cult caused extreme confusion, pain, dissonance, and stress in spite of how good it looked.
Roots
The roots symbolize the convoluted message, and the confusion of trying to live up to the demands.
Peeling
The peeling paint is what was going on inside of me as I lost more and more any sense of self.
Tree and Fence
The teaching may start out as a guideline, like a fence, and serve a good purpose; but if it constricts and tries to prevent growth, it ends up causing deep scars. The tree grew around the fence, but the fence is still deep within its very being.
Pine Needles
Since leaving, I am often filled with a sense of awe in being able to really see the beauty in the world around me. While I was in the cult, my life was so filled with the stress of trying to “live the life” that those efforts consumed all my attention. Such a self-centered culture prevented me from connecting with the rest of the world, both physically and socially. From pine needles on the dark earth, to the sparkle of flowers in the dew-laden morning light, to the effervescence of a sparkling stream, beauty and joy show up all around. As C.S. Lewis said in the title of his book, I am often “Surprised by Joy.”
Flowers
Since leaving, I am often filled with a sense of awe in being able to really see the beauty in the world around me. While I was in the cult, my life was so filled with the stress of trying to “live the life” that those efforts consumed all my attention. Such a self-centered culture prevented me from connecting with the rest of the world, both physically and socially. From pine needles on the dark earth, to the sparkle of flowers in the dew-laden morning light, to the effervescence of a sparkling stream, beauty and joy show up all around. As C.S. Lewis said in the title of his book, I am often “Surprised by Joy.”
Sparkling Stream
Since leaving, I am often filled with a sense of awe in being able to really see the beauty in the world around me. While I was in the cult, my life was so filled with the stress of trying to “live the life” that those efforts consumed all my attention. Such a self-centered culture prevented me from connecting with the rest of the world, both physically and socially. From pine needles on the dark earth, to the sparkle of flowers in the dew-laden morning light, to the effervescence of a sparkling stream, beauty and joy show up all around. As C.S. Lewis said in the title of his book, I am often “Surprised by Joy.”